Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the art of blogging?

I've been blogging now for a few weeks and I'm still trying to figure it out. What do you write? Do you say mean things about people you know? Do you get all academic? Do you make yourself sound amazing? crazy? a genius? Am I funny enough? Or not serious enough? Is my grammer bad? (yes I misspelled grammar on purpose, funny yet?)

I'm torn on blogging and technology of all kinds, as all of you who know me know. Dustin has to practically force me to buy a new cell phone after years of having one and I still don't have one that does anything special. I see no purpose in many supposed helpful devices. I'm the same with the internet. I remember back in High School when friends had livejournals and I was so confused by them and why anyone would want to tell their private thoughts to the world. I was even more puzzled by those who seemed surprised that people had actually read their journals. They were angry that something they had posted on the internet, which is open to the entire world, was read. What the fuck? Of course now people have become more accepting of this and the anger has ceased. We are open books, or at least very carefully edited open books. 

Various times I've thought or tried to have some form of an online journal/blog, but always backed out quickly. I felt confused by the purpose and was overwhelmed by the pressure. I've also never been a big reader of blogs, forums, or livejournals. But now I'm slowly coming around and have tried to find my own way through this blog. I'm trying to find my blog voice. 

Positives: for starts it keeps me writing, which is always a good thing. I am at work for 40 hours a week and I have about 5 hours worth of work to do a week, so that provides me with tons of downtime. I can't work very well on poetry in this environment. I need more privacy and focus. I wish I could be like Frank O'Hara who often wrote his poems during busy parties, but as much as I would like to be O'Hara I'm not, which has its positives perhaps I won't die on Fire Island at 40, though I'd like to go to Fire Island. This blog, however, is easy for me to write at work. 

I am also interested in the collective online experience and how it is shaping our world and the literary world. Tons of writers now have blogs and twitters and Facebook pages and at first this seemed annoying, but it actually does seem to be connecting writers to writers and writers to readers. I've been twittering a lot recently. I've found that many other writers, journals, and poetry websites tweet too. One gay poetry magazine found me on twitter and encouraged me to submit. This kind of networking does seem to bring us closer together and for this I am thankful. 

But do not fear, I still believe all this technology and supposed social sites will lead to our downfall and I will never support the absurd overuse of these products. At the same time I can't deny the release they give me when I'm sitting in my little cubical about to go insane by the idea that I have become my worst nightmare: a cubical worker. 

In the end I think this blog could help push me to write more prose and to work on some ideas for poems. 

Currently I am trying to write a poem that some how captures the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. I always feel compelled to write poems like this, but then feel too pressured by the specific timing and everything. I'm hoping to find a way into it that won't be cliched, preachy, or just plain bad. 

More later.


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