Thursday, June 11, 2009

G0ys: Just Say No?

Today I learned a new term related to the gay community. I consider myself pretty well informed but when I saw the word "g0ys" (guys spelled with a zero) on a gay forum I had no idea what it meant. Thanks to google I found various websites devoted to g0ys. So what are they?

G0ys are gay men who believe that anal sex is against nature and do not think that gay sex should be associated with anal sex. Instead they engage in frottage or rubbing their dicks together until they cum. They believe anal sex is degrading and against morality. G0ys  also promote a traditional idea of masculinity and are angered at the wider gay community that embraces gender-bending, drag queens, and transgender men and women. They believe the gay community should have no connection to these other groups. They are strong in their opinion and try to convert others to this way of thinking (think evangelical churches).

This fascinates me on many levels. First of all I love language and how various groups come up with terms  to label themselves. The zero in guy is meant to work as a "no" symbol, like a no-smoking sign. No to anal sex! One site even had this flower-like object inside the zero, which I'm guessing was meant to be an anus. Secondly I'm always intrigued by minorities within minorities and the battle that takes places. This is common to various minority groups and the gays are no different. Thirdly the idea of masculinity and how it changes and morphs over time never ceases to amaze me. 

I am a firm believer that femininity should not be considered the same as gay. The media has a done a great job of convincing the world that all gay men truly want to be women.  This is not true. What people don't get is that gay men love men. They love being men and being with men. Why would they want to be women? Perhaps you could blame this on the fact that we do embrace transgendered people, but that seems like a small price to pay for including and supporting a very misunderstood group of people. On the same notion there is nothing wrong with gay men who are more "feminine," but it should not define the whole community. I am on the more feminine side (not a full out flamer, but I fit some stereotypes), but I'm very attracted to all kinds of men including very stereotypically masculine ones. This is one reason I love going to places like the Parliament House. There is a huge mix of men and I love seeing all the varieties of the gay community in one space. 

This brings me to what greatly upsets me about g0ys. They're about separation and not unity. The thing I love about the gay community is that sense of belonging. That doesn't mean I'm like all the people in the gay community, but we do share the experience of living on the fringe of society, of not being understood, and of needing support. I love drag queens. Do I want to be a drag queen? No. I'm intrigued and am always wanting to learn more about transgendered men and women, but I am not transgendered. I'm turned on by leather daddies. Will I become one? Well...maybe I will, though I don't buy leather (it kills animals), so I'll have to find something else. Regardless  I relate and respect each part of the gay community. 

G0ys seem to be dealing with this very narrow vision of masculinity and are associating the idea of having and enjoying anal sex with something inferior, which isn't new. Men have been doing this for centuries, but it's sad that a group of men who accept being gay think this. Morality also seems to be an issue here. They are saying it is more moral to rub your dick on another guy's dick than to have anal sex. This notion is ridiculous and absurd. Have sex any way you want but please don't use morality to justify your intolerance and uncomfortableness. I don't care if you have anal sex. In fact what you enjoy sexually is completely up to you, but you can't judge someone else for what they enjoy and find pleasure in. I can't understand why part of a minority that is attacked for these same reasons would then turn around and attack another part of the same group. 

Not engaging in anal sex does not make you more of a man. These ideas of what is masculine and feminine are outdated and this is one reason I embrace the gay community. The wider gay community has realized that gender is a construct. It is an illusion. We are human beings, not just men and women. 

I plan to do more thinking and reading about g0ys because I want to understand this perspective and how it is rooted in history. Nothing gets me going more than digging around in gay history. I think a poem might even come of this. Bet you can't wait! 

-Stephen  


5 comments:

  1. "...I don't buy leather (it kills animals)..."

    You rock!

    Also, holy insightful piece - definitely three standard deviations to the right of your standard blog post.

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  2. I was just making breakfast, and something else occurred to me.

    This g0y attitude - it's almost as though there's an intolerance gene in some people; as though no matter how small or large your group is, how mainstream or marginal, there's always a subset that has intolerant belief systems.

    Or maybe, intolerance _breeds_ in marginalized groups, as some of kind of adaptive behavior. I mean, hardcore intolerance is pretty uncommon. Even, say rednecks or hicks - I live in the semi-rural South, and most white hicks and black people get along fine, and are friends, and respect each other - there's not a whole lot of overlap in leisure pursuits outside of work things, but everyone is cool.

    Then there's the racist whites, and they are a small subset of the rednecks as a whole. But then by and large, they aren't ostracized by the broader redneck community.

    Err. This is going to take more thinking. There's something in there though - that being marginalized leads some people to intolerant beliefs.

    Also, rubbing dicks together exclusively? I know everyone has their own thing, but just from an entirely mechanical viewpoint, that doesn't seem as though it'd be terribly satisfying. Maybe if penises were shaped like corkscrews, and they could get sort of tangled up, but just the regular variety - I think even if I were gay, that'd be lame.

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  3. Thanks for the comments. I think you are right about the intolerance gene. That's a good way to put it.

    And yes rubbing dicks together seems like it would get boring. After reading your comment I'm now imagining dicks shaped like corkscrews and that's a scary image.

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  4. Stephen,

    I was encouraged to read that you intend to do more exploration and study on 'g0ys'.

    I can help steer you in the correct direction on a few things.

    aApe, G0ys are not a subset of the gay community. G0ys are not part of the gAy community at all. The only way that G0ys are related to the gay community is that we seek to distance ourselves from the specter of gAy and what the gAy lifestyle has done to the paradigm of same-gender-affection by the inclusion of drag, barebacking, promiscuity, etc. in its definition.

    A few comments have made it seem like g0ys are all about sex (frot). We're not. Yes, we reject anal and other dangerous/degrading fetishes. The G0y Philosophy is about Friendship First, Brotherhood, Masculine Respect and Trust, Strong Moral and Spiritual Convictions, Responsible Sexual and Health Practices. Attempt to link g0ys to a sex-driven perspective simply reinforces the g0y belief that gAys have only one thing on their mind and they try to define everyone else by that system as well. There are many g0ys whom identify as heterosexual and are married and seek to reconnect with male friends on a Brotherhood level, with no intent for sexual interaction at all. The fact that heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual men that support the g0y philosophy can all join together with a common belief system shows that the gAy community is lacking something vital in the quest to become part of mainstream society.

    Even your own comments, while appearing to have a true interest in learning more about g0ys, seem to sexualize the whole premise of our movement.

    The whole attempt to characterize g0ys as 'intolerant' I find offensive. We are not intolerant of orientation. We are men who love men, so naturally we are not 'homophobic'. We have an aversion to certain sexual behaviors, clearly. To make it seem that we are intolerate of gays is getting off too easy. We are intolerant of the behaviors that gays include in their repertoire, while not realizing that many of these things are clearly what makes many people revile them for their orientation.

    There is the whole mindset that whatever people do in private, in their bedroom, doesn't affect anyone else. The world today has shown what a naive perspective that is. In response to this defense of irresponsible behavior someone once replied:

    You'll understand in the future -but somebody's gonna DIE first...
    See, some of those "GAY" friends of your's that Phuck arse; --One of them is going to give HIV to Phuck somebody else -3 days from now. That person, will spread it to another person 44 days from now via the butt-phuck. 51 days after that, it will spread again -to a teenager at a "gay rave" ass-orgy --who, 79 days later will give it to your son (-recently educated about condom use in his high-school health class) via a so-called "safe" butt-phuck session in which the condom will break.
    After you put him into the ground 7 years, 3 months, & 2 days later: you'll finally "get it".

    We do not try to convert anyone to our views. G0ys has to come from within. It is an innate identification with what we present at our site. We tell guys often "If you don't agree with us, ok. Fine by us. Don't let the door hit you on the way out".

    Since your last post was June 15, 2009, I think it's fair to assume that you never did do any further study or exploration on g0ys.

    Thank you for keeping your blog up, so perhaps maybe visitors to your page will have the opportunity to do so. I urge those people interested to visit the definitive source and foundational base for g0y philosophy. Don't rely on the half-studied assumptions and baseless accusations of those who can't stand that there are some men that just don't want anything to do with the gAy lifestyle and it's all-inclusive rainbow umbrella. www.g0ys.org - g0ys is spelled g-zero-y-s

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  5. Patrick,

    I appreciate your comments and insights on this topic. I have done some research and some of it matches with your ideas and your way of defining this term, but much of it goes in other directions that often are rooted in homophobia and intolerance. And please know I'm not looking at sites against g0ys, but sites for and about g0ys. As with any group, there are differing opinions and approaches to it. Overall, I find it interesting and compelling.

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