Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Honey, Where's Our Sex Tape?

Yes, I've done it. 

I've taped myself having sex. In fact I've done it more than once. I've also taken naked pictures of myself and probably more people have copies than I want to admit or imagine, so when I hear of the latest celebrity sex tape I'm less concerned than the rest of the world appears to be. Not because others don't also have sex tapes and nude pictures, but because I have them and I don't care if people see them or know I have them. Isn't that part of the point? 

I realize I'm in the minority here and most people get very uptight and upset about nudity and about who sees them or who sees their partners. I just don't really give a fuck and am always confused when everyone else does, which brings me to my topic: as most gay boys in the world now know Dustin Lance Black has a sex tape. 

Black is the Oscar winning, openly gay, screenwriter of Milk. Most know him for his amazing acceptance speech at this year's awards, which was inspiring to gays across the world. He's been hailed as a role model for young gays and has been all over the gay press/and some mainstream press for months. Oh, and he's hot. At least I think he's hot and now that most gay boys have seen him naked they think he's hot too, but I thought it first, damn it! He's a writer and writers are hot (duh I'm a writer). He not only wrote Milk but was also a writer for Big Love (one my favorite TV shows). Plus he's tall, has perfect hair, is skinny but toned, and openly gay. He pretty much fits my list of what's hot.

When I found out he had a sex tape about a week ago, of course I looked it up and thanks to the internet quickly found screenshots from it. I realized in my research that sadly the actual film has not been leaked (yet) just photos from it. There were just three shots and they were hot. He's a bottom (which is good news for me) and he truly does have a nice body without the sexy tux. All in all, good work. 

Then I realized the story surrounding these photos and the reaction to them. Critics are up in arms calling Black a hypocrite because the photos show him having bareback sex and he has been doing a lot of work on promoting safe sex. People are now questioning his role model status and of course he has given full attention to these critics by apologizing and going after anyone who is posting these photos.  Why does it matter? 

First of all Black is not a hypocrite. The sex tape and photos do show him having unprotected sex but it was with his boyfriend at the time. People seem to be under the impression that gay people should never have unprotected sex. Why? Anal sex is not more dangerous. If you don't know and trust the person you should always have safe sex no matter who it is with (man or woman). If you are in a committed relationship there is no harm, if both partners agree and are clean. He can still promote having safe sex. This is no way changes the argument. I am also confused why the knowledge or proof that someone actually does have sex makes them a bad role model. Did we think he didn't have sex before the photos? No. I can just now more easily imagine what it looks like and I have to say that's not a bad thing. Is it just the act of video-taping that scares people? And if so why? We love watching movies where celebrities pretend to have sex, but the idea of seeing them actually have sex is somehow a scandal. Black's video is truly less of a scandal than many other tapes. He's having sex with a attractive man of his same age. They were a couple. There is nothing freaky happening in the video. No one is underage. We already knew he was gay, so that's not a revelation. What is, in fact, the problem? 

The only question I have for him is how does one misplace their sex tape? It seems to happen a lot to celebrities, which is fine as long as you don't get mad when someone releases it. I know exactly where my sex tapes are. Now the nude pictures, they are little more spread around, but I wouldn't send out some apology if someone found them and published them. It seems absurd to waste the time. In many cases sex tapes help careers. 

I wish Black wasn't taking this so seriously and would just stand up and say Yes, I have sex. Yes, I am attractive. I am not embarrassed by this. Watch it as much as you want. He is still a great role model because he is open, honest, and successful. He just needs to lay off the lawsuits. Release the actual tape (or at least send it to me) and move on. 

I, for one, am thankful we finally have a good gay sex tape out there. I'm tired of watching the terrible ones straight stars make. Collin Farrell's made him about 100 times less attractive, plus I had to ignore the woman. At least Black's seems promising.

-Stephen (Sex Tape Activist)